Tomato

Hi, I am Tomato. Lately I have had this story in the back of my head. A couple days ago, I decided that I was going to put them in my blog to have everyone read since I don't plan on doing anything with them. I hope they are interesting to you all.

Chapter 1

I used to always love the rain. The smell, sound, feeling, pretty much everything about it. I would always want to go out and run around a play in it with my friends and my sisters. We would go out and dance in the street, play in the mud, and jump in the puddles until my mom would make us come in and get dry. It was one of the things I looked forward to the most, that was, until my sophomore year of High School.

It was a wonderful rainy day. I was running around outside with my sisters like 5 year old when I heard the house phone ring inside. My step mom, Cindy and my dad were out working on my step moms salon like they usually are on a Monday. So I ran inside and answered the phone. I was expecting it to be my dad telling me that he was on his way home. Instead, it was the worst phone call of all. After I hung up, I sat down on the chair next to me and just stared in front of me with no emotion at all. I didn't even hear my sisters come in the house.

"Hannah!! Hannah!! What's the matter? Who was on the phone? Hannah!!!" my sister yelled at me.

When I finally realized that I had to tell them I said, "It was the Hospital. There was a car accident. Someone was speeding and tried to stop but they slid since the roads were so wet. They hit the passenger side of dad's car. Cindy was dead at the scene. Dad died as soon as he got to the hospital. They said they would have called but they couldn't even tell who the driver or passenger were and didn't find his wallet till they got them to the hospital."

After that, I don't remember anything really. I know my sisters called my mom and helped call all the family members. I remember the funeral service. After the funeral, I sat by my dad and step mom's grave. I just sat there, like a person with no emotions, feelings, like there was nothing inside of me. I didn't cry, I don't think I had cried since before the accident.

'The Accident,' that's what everyone kept saying. 'The Accident.' Like nothing happened. Like my dad and step mom were still here, living, like they are on some vacation or something. Well they weren't. They were dead. Gone forever. I will never see them again. That's what I kept thinking, even thought deep down inside I knew that wasn't true. I had to keep reminding myself of Gods plan for us and that we can be with our family forever. But since my dad isn't even a member of the LDS church, how am I going to be with him forever if I'm not even sealed to him. What if he is going to be somewhere totally different from me when I die, then what?

It was Thursday when I got the call that my dad was dead. I didn't go to school on Friday, the funeral was on Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I stayed home and did nothing. Tuesday morning I came to the conclusion that I can't sit around here day by day. What is that going to do? Nothing. Even though my sisters stayed home from school on Wednesday, I decided I had to go. It wasn't worth missing school and having to make up all of the work.

When I showed up to seminary, everyone was treating me like I was a five year old. I hated it. I thought I would only have to deal with it during seminary, but no. The whole school knew about it, I guess I should have known since I go to a school with only 600 kids. And since my sisters don't go to the same school as me, all the attention is on me. The very last thing I want. No one needs to know about me and my life. And what frustrates me even more is people that I don't ever talk to come up to me and start asking me how I am. It is none of their business. I never wanted to talk to them before and I definitely don't want to talk to them know.

The only person I really wanted to talk to was one of my best friends. Sara. Her dad died last year, so she knows how I feel. She totally ignored the subject of my dad and acted like nothing happened. It's like a cut, you cut it once and it hurts. Then it starts to heal and scab over. Then it gets cut again and hurts even worse. Eventually you want it to heal, so you try to not cut it open again. I know Sara cares about me and wants me to be all right, but she doesn't have to talk to me and ask me questions for me to know. She was at the funeral, and stayed by my side pretty much the whole time.

Chapter 2

I am in the drum line at school. This is the first year that our percussion instructor has decided to do a Winter Percussion. That is where after Marching Band season, all the people that want to play percussion instruments get together and learn a song to perform and compete with schools in the district. I have always wanted to play the quads. Ever since my Freshman year. The guy playing the quads was a Junior when I was a Freshman. I had the biggest crush on him. He was gorgeous, had the most beautiful eyes, and was amazing at the quads. Jesse Anderson is his name. My Freshman year, he told me that he had a crush on me and I told him I had a crush on him. But we couldn't be actual boyfriend and girlfriend because I can't date till I was 16. And I had just turned 14. And now, 1 year later, my stupid feelings for him have not changed, if so I like him even more than last year. Which totally sucks because he was going out with someone for 6 months after me. So I doubt he even likes me anymore.

So anyway, for Winter Drum line, the song is written for 3 snare drums and 1 quad. Since Jesse has been playing the quads for four years, and the quad part is really easy and the snare part is hard, Jesse decided to play the snare and have me play the quads. I was kinda excited about it, but also nervous. The quads is one of the most important instruments, and since I'm the only one playing them, it is not good for me to miss a practice. We have practice every Tuesday night from 6 to about 9, 9:30. Last Tuesday I didn't go because of my dad.

When I got home from school, I went to my room and fell asleep. My mom gets home at 6:30 pm. When she got home I was still sleeping. So she woke me up and rushed me to the band room. When I got there everyone was just finishing warm-ups. I quickly got my drum out and got a stand for my music. After they finished their last warm-up, I was putting my music on my stand. I picked up my stand while Adam, the percussion instructor, counted us off for our song. I was still tired from just waking up. I didn't feel like doing anything, which wasn't surprising because I hadn't felt like doing anything for about 2 weeks. I wasn't playing too good, I tried to just forget about everything and get into the music, but I couldn't. After playing the song a couple times, Adam stopped everyone in the middle of the song.

"Hannah," he said, "what's the matter with you? Concentrate, we had a good practice last week, you can't bring everyone down."

"I'm sorry," I said, "I will try harder."

That's all that was said before we started playing again at the beginning. It had been about 45 min of playing when Adam stopped us all again.

"Hannah!! What is going on? We have a competition in one week, we can't have this kind of a practice."

"I'm sorry, I will..." I started to say.

"No Hannah, no more saying sorry. What's going on. You miss last week with no explanation and you show up late tonight. As of right now it would just be better if you weren't even here. Now tell me why you missed last week and I will reconsider you being able to stay on the quads. All I want to know is why you didn't show up last week and why you were late tonight. Just talk to me and we can figure something out," Adam said.

"Fine," I said as I took off my drum, set it down, and started walking towards the door, "put your star player back on the quads. I don't care. It will make my life and your life so much easier. You know, if you didn't want me on the quads in the first place, you should have just told me. Then we wouldn't be in this situation right now," I was about to walk out the door, but I turned around and said, "and by the way Adam, you are the last person I would tell anything about my life and why I didn't show up last week." I turned around and walked out the door. And yet again, it was a dark, rainy, and depressing day.

I started running as soon as the band room door closed. I was about out of the side parking lot when I heard someone call my name. I just ignored it and kept running. As soon as I got to the gym, I stopped running and leaned up against the wall. That's when I realized I was crying. I slid down the wall, sat down, wrapped my arms around my knees, put my head down and cried. I cried for the first time since my dad had died.

* * *

"Adam," Jesse said, "you have no right saying that to her. You have no idea what kind of pain she is going through right now. Maybe if you payed more attention you could see that she is hurting."

"And you know she is hurting? How? I don't think I have ever seen the two of you say a single sentence to each other. It doesn't even seem like you care about her at all. If I were her I would be hurting because you don't seem to care." Adam said.

"Adam, her dad just died, about a week and a half ago. So don't even say I don't know she is hurting. And you have no right to even say that I don't care about her. She is always on my mind. I care more about her than I do about myself."

"So that means she is after the music and before your life. Right, I am pretty sure that you said music was more important to you than your life."

"No Adam, she is higher than my music, much much higher," Jesse said right before he ran out the door. When he got outside, he saw her running towards the gym. He called her name, but she didn't hear him so he ran after her."

When Jesse got closer to the gym, he tried to figure out where Hannah had run to. He looked over and saw her on the ground. As he got closer to her, he could tell she was crying. He didn't know if he should go and talk to her or if he should just go away. He decided he was going to go and talk to her.

* * *

I heard someone walking toward me, but I thought it was just my imagination so I ignored it. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and it was Jesse. He sat down next to me, put his arm around me and pulled me close to him. I had no choice but to just cry. I was barely aware of him rubbing his hand on my back and telling me that everything was going to be okay. After a few minutes, I stopped crying and sat up.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"There is no need to be sorry Hannah. You are going through a lot right now, and crying always helps. I'm glad you did cry. I was about to come over and make you cry if you didn't eventually," Jesse said with humor in his voice.

"How did you know?" was all I said, and was glad that's all I had to say for him to know what I was talking about.

"When the BPA meeting was at my house, your mom stayed longer and talked to my dad and I. My dad asked how you and your sisters were doing. Your mom said that Emma and Samantha were doing pretty good, but she was concerned about you. She said that you haven't really cried about anything and that you are being to hard on yourself. She said that if you would just cry and/or talk about it she could probably do something to help, but you aren't doing either. And I can tell you haven't cried and dealt with the whole thing. I think you should talk to someone about it. You know I am here for you right. You can tell me anything. I'm here for you, for a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on."

"Thanks Jesse, I really do appreciate everything you do for me. And I mean everything."

"Oh, I don't do that much. It is poring now, why don't we I drop you off at home so you can get into dry clothes and get to bed. I bet you haven't had a good night sleep in a while."

"I can't go home Jesse."

"Why not? You're with your at your mom's house right?"

"Yes I'm with my mom, but my dad gave the house to my mom, so she moved in with us. I can't be in that house. Too many memories, I can't deal with it right now."

"Okay. Is your mom and sisters home?"

"No, they are at Sam's school for open house. They won't be home till about nine."

"Well then let's go to my car to get out of this rain and then go to my house. We will get in some dry clothes and hang out. Watch a movie, play a game, whatever you want to do. Sound like a plan?"

"Yes it does."

When they got to Jesse's house, they went into the living room to tell Jesse's mom and dad that they were home.

"Well hello there you too. What are you guys doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at Winter Percussion practice?" Mr. Anderson said.

"Nope," Jesse said, "we have decided that we are too good for those people and didn't want to deal with there crap anymore so we quit." Jesse gave his parents a look that said he would tell them later, please don't ask anymore questions.

"Okay," Mrs. Anderson said, "you two are soaking wet, lets find some dry clothes. Jesse you can find your own since you live here, but Hannah, I think I might have some sweats and a t-shirt you can borrow."

"Thank you so much," I said.

"Oh, on problem at all."

After we both got in dry clothes, I texted my mom and told her where I was and that i didn't know what time I was going to be home, then we went to Jesse's room and just joked with each other and talked like we were best friends. It felt good to laugh and to be with someone other than family. It was also nice to be with Jesse and to get to know him more. We plugged a movie in in his room and layed down on his bed. And the next thing I know is an unfamiliar alarm going off. It was Jesse's.